No Mo FOMO
That image is of someone spinning fire poi. Something I want to do, but never will.
I don’t want to inhale those toxic fumes, which I fear more than the fire. I still think about it often though, the feelings I’m missing out on.
See, I can have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) over many things. We high Openness people (see the Big 5 Personality test) seem especially prone to it. So I have to work consciously to mitigate my FOMO.
I want No More FOMO.
Hello Internet friend/lurker/someone who might know me in real life! I hope this finds you well.
I write this while sitting in my apartment in New Zealand. This is my first time spending Thanksgiving in somewhere which doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Heck, we’re a whole day ahead - it’s already Friday November 2024 here.
You often don't realize what you don't have until you don't have it.
I felt some major FOMO seeing my social media feed suffused with Thanksgiving dinner celebrations. I don't consider myself that sentimental over the holidays, but definitely there were some dinner tables I wish I could've sat at. People I miss, conversations I wish I could’ve been a part of.
And let’s be real, I’m jealous of some people and their company.
I have to wrestle with constant FOMO being so far away from the US.
When I analyze this “fear of missing out” I wonder… What am I really missing out ON?
I feel anxious that I’m not “getting ahead.”
But am I correctly defining how to get ahead?
Getting ahead does not just equal making more money, more friends, or amassing more power.
To me, “getting ahead” has become reduced down more to trying to stay physically healthy. And caring for the most important people in my life.
What is more important to me now than ever is reducing the amount of input to my life rather than increasing it.
I am a very competitive person, as much as I hate to admit it. I seek to maximize every moment, every minute. I do this less and less as I get more tired and realize more and more who I really want to spend time with. What really makes me feel happy, or peaceful, and ideally both.
Instead of staying in a state of craving and desire, I try to recognize my FOMO is a wish for what cannot be. And I try to stoically focus on what is in my control.
I try to laugh more at life than despair over it.
Leading me to…
Circus.
A LOT is in my control, actually! Including indulging in the fact that I now live close enough to somewhere to practice circus! The creative mind-body workout which I can lose myself in. Yes my body recovers very slowly but it’s still enjoyable and a huge physical & creative outlet for me.
So… allow me to indulge in sharing with you my love for circus.
Some quotes I Iove, from listening to Shannon McKenna's The Artist Athlete podcast:
"Circus is watching people have fun."
"Learn to grip an idea BETTER - not let go sooner."
"Get on the bottom of the ladder you want to climb."
I’m happy spending this evening listening to her podcast while practicing juggling. I know there’s a billion other things I could be doing and gatherings I’m “missing out” on, but I feel happy doing things which give me joy. I am at peace, tucked away in a nook of the world for this meditative moment, not trying to make things happen which won’t.
Instead I focus on the things which bring me joy: movement, being in a state of flow, and learning. All at once! While I get to enjoy a view of the clouds and rain. It’s a cozy evening, a modest evening, an evening of peace I appreciate. I thank every day for this peace.
———-
Bonus: Here’s a blog entry from February I didn’t publish. Still super relevant now:
Title: Collections of notes I’ve had floating around for a while:
Exercise increases the number of neurons in the hippocampus.
I’m not as introverted as I think, I’m just naturally very self-conscious and embarrassed of myself. By realizing more that I don’t need to be ashamed, I become more extroverted.
Meaning, I get less embarrassed when I’m being more authentic.
Being sad is a lot more inefficient than being happy.
Naval Ravikant “Being unhappy is inefficient”
Dr Herbert Shelton “You’re free to make choices but not free to choose consequences”